I decided to take a different approach this post. Writing is my most therapeutic release, and I've been doing a lot of it the past few days, trying to get rid of some of the anger, bitterness, sadness and resentment that I've been carrying. As much as I've began to enjoy releasing some of my most private details of my soul to the public, the writings I've been doing lately I don't quite deem suitable for the public to read. I took a new strategy in my writing, penning letters to all the people who've hurt me in the past, whom I've hurt, the things I haven't been able to let go, and carry deep within me. (Credit to my best friend for the inspiration, we've both been purging our emotions.) The effects have been amazing, but as to protect the people I've written to, as I respect them, and don't want to put them on blast, I'm going to keep that stuff to myself. In fact we're going to burn them all when we're done so we truly can let it all dissipate and leave it all behind when we leave Porto.
So, instead of giving you my most private thoughts, I decided to get behind my other calming friend, my camera. I found a bathtub in our garden, and ever since I've been inspired to use it as a prop for some sort of project. They aren't perfect, as don't have a tripod and I couldn't exactly be behind my camera while photographing myself, but I'm excited about them. I tried to portray some of the things that have been burdening me lately. The sadness, the anger, the frustration, the insecurity... A couple of moments I could actually feel the emotions coming out, and that was extremely satisfying. I'm no model, and my clothes are completely wrinkled as we don't carry irons in our packs (hehe) but I do think that some of the photographs truly portray my emotions and it was cool to experiment with that. I'd like to do it again and really focus on getting it all out there, cause I know how beneficial it's been the past few days to release some of this stuff. So much, that I'm finally feeling back to my old self- which is one of the reasons I even had the motivation to pick up my camera again in the first place. (I haven't touched it since we got to Porto.) I'm extremely grateful to be feeling happy again, and even more so, inspired.
I hope you enjoy these as much as I do, as they're a little piece of my soul in each one. My favorite favorite favorite thing about photography has always been the fact that you can truly capture a moment of emotion in each photo. Especially when there's a human soul in front of the lens. I've always found that extremely beautiful, that you can see so much of someone in such a small fragment of time. It's why I fell in love with photography, and why I continue to take photos.
Enjoy! I'm really proud of the way this turned out :)
frustration // anger // resentment
chained // manipulated // insufficient
discontent // unfulfilled