So here we are, ending the chapter of our time in Blonduos. After a lot of consideration, discussion, and deliberation, Mel and I chose to leave the farm a few days earlier than we originally had expected. It was a tough choice, because we didn’t want to give up easy, let anyone down, or go back on our word. After going back time and time again, we realized, if we stayed, neither one of us would be staying true to ourselves and our happiness. And that has been our biggest lesson thus far. Just because we want something to work out, doesn’t mean it will. Sometimes you just have to do what’s best for you, and at the end of the day, leaving was something we had to do, no matter how scary the confrontation may be, no matter if we were letting someone down, we would’ve been letting ourselves down more if we stayed here any longer. We poured our hearts into this, worked our asses off, and at the end of the day, it just wasn’t working out. And that’s okay. We were exhausted, and wanted to move on. I can’t say the work was too hard, it wasn’t. I can’t say we were mistreated, we weren’t. In fact, the work was incredibly easy (there was a lot of it some days, but it wasn’t difficult), and we were treated beyond well. We just weren’t happy here, and we woke up everyday wanting a break from the farm and to be out exploring places, meeting people, and doing things that made our hearts sing. Being on such a beautiful island, we have that opportunity, it’s awaiting us, and so we chose to go that route instead. I think I can speak for both of us when I say that we are more than grateful for our time and experience here, and learned a great deal. Our biggest problem was swallowing our pride and admitting to this lovely family and to ourselves that this just wasn’t for us. We would work, and then have hours upon hours in isolation that led us to sitting behind our computers or phones, which was exactly what we didn’t want to do. On days where it was nice enough to go outside, we went… (which I mean on days that there wasn’t pounding winds and below freezing and snowy.) Those days were few and far between. Most of the time, the weather was terrible enough that we couldn’t even take the car into town. It was suffocating us, and making us feel like we didn’t really have room to breathe on our own account. I understand fully that these things will happen along my journey, and that not everything is going to be silver-platterish… I never have expected that, and have even taken some of the burdens surprisingly well, and kept my spirits as high as possible in times where I felt miserable and exhausted. Regardless of our choice to leave, we had some great times here… I mentioned in earlier posts about how I got to try amazing food, meet a great family, do something new, hang out with horses… Mel and I took a hike into a valley of some mountains and found a running stream and just sat out there for what seemed like hours, gazing at our beautiful view. The farm looking so tiny from where we were, and the sea so big. A metaphor for our journey here. For this is just a grain of sand on our travels. While this small experience is just one door that we’re closing, there is a sea amidst us, awaiting to be swam in. We are going back to Reykjavik, and staying with Sindri once again. With him we have plans to see one of my bucket list spots, and some other amazing places he’s mentioned that we need to see before we part our ways from this amazing place. I’m sad that we’re leaving behind a wonderful family, gracious that they opened their doors to us, but I know this is the best decision for us, and it’s true to how we feel in our hearts.
Telling Rakel last night that we were leaving was one of the hardest moments I think we’ve had to deal with so far. They had been spending the past week in London, while we stayed with the grandmother, and we were planning to tell them when they got back. When they pulled up, my throat was in my stomach… I wanted to puke at the thought of having to tell such good people that we were just… leaving. We had to though, it was the choice we made, and we needed to stick by ourselves and what we knew we wanted to do. She was understanding and great about it, but my heart was still heavy after we broke the news. We stayed up late chatting with her, and she assured us over and over that it was okay, and we could return whenever, if we ever desired… even if it was just to visit. After it got late (we still had to work one last time the next morning), we headed back to the skemma and debriefed before we put on a movie, and headed to bed. Then with a chance of luck, Mel happened to look out the window and saw the northern lights. We ran outside and they were the best we’ve been able to see them thus far. Mel said that was her sign that we made the right choice, mine came later.
This morning we awoke, and hurried straight to work. We wanted to try and leave by one, and still had packing and cleaning to do. Both in the chicken farm, and of our own possessions. We finished our very last day of chicken farming with pride and satisfaction. It was glorious. As we headed back to the house after we finished our work, I noticed how the sun was touching the sea, gracefully sparkling atop the mountain tops and hitting every single area around us outside of the farm. Yet the farm didn’t have a bit of it shining with sunshine, it was dim and shadowed by the brilliance beyond it. And that was my moment, that was when I knew that there were greater things waiting for us beyond where we were standing in that current moment. That was my sign.
We packed up our belongings, cleaned up the skemma, and Rakel drove us into town. As we were getting out of the car, she said something to us that will stick with me the rest of my life.
“This is YOUR trip, remember to do what YOU want.”
I will hold those words close to my heart for the rest of my travels, and my journey that is this life. I couldn’t think of a better way to have parted with someone, as I took one of the most valuable lessons from this woman right before we said our goodbyes.
Wanting to save our cash on the $56 bus ticket, we decided to hitchhike. And before you have a heart attack (mom ;P) we had heard from many of the Icelanders how safe and easy hitchhiking is here. (Seriously Iceland never stops being cool, or blowing my mind at how awesome of a country this place is.) So we decided to do it (it was so fun!), and within about 10 minutes, 10 cars… I said “this one’s going to stop”…. and they did. And we got to meet the two of the coolest gals! We shared stories, they shared their treats, until we got to the tunnel through the sea that takes you into Reykjavik. They were headed to Akranes, so we parted ways and continued our journey. Two more women and their daughter picked us up next. They were friendly as well, and took us all the way back to our destination. Seriously I couldn’t be more grateful for the amount of kindness we’ve received since we’re came to this place. It’s unbelievable how amazing all the people we’ve met are so kind, each so different and teaching us something new. I’m incredibly grateful to be a part of this world, because this is so cool… Complete strangers with such open hearts and minds to meeting us and accepting us within minutes! I’m continuously humbled by the people who keep gracing my life, even if it’s just momentarily. A lesson among itself to give back and be kind to all who enters your life… you never know when you could meet a new friend!
I’ve been struck with a pound of reality since we arrived back in Reykjavik. Life is pure madness. Wild. The past two weeks have finally set in, and I have been able to reflect with a clear view of such a strange series of events. We spent the past 14 days working as egg farmers, something both of us had never done before… and probably may never do again. (But who the hell knows! That’s how wild this life is!) We were living completely isolated in a different country, not interacting with anyone except the family (and for the past week only the grandma…) and maybe a cashier if we were lucky enough to go into town. Our only connection to any outside world, was our access to the internet… That’s honestly extremely strange if you think about it. Regardless of the isolation, we got to do some really amazing things as well.. try new foods! feed horses! listen to Taylor Swifts new album 4000 times! (I wish I was joking. No I don’t. I’ve shamelessly accepted my love for her, so what.) We saw the northern lights! We hitchhiked! And now that I’m back, I feel like I was jolted with something truly special…growth, and it all hit me in one sudden moment. I took a bunch of chances, and did a bunch of things I never in a million years would’ve saw myself doing. I don’t regret a moment of it, because something came from every single thing I experienced. I’m over the moon that we’re back in Reykjavik, and feel more than ever that we truly made the right decision. For once it has hit me where I am and what I’m doing, and I’m exhilarated and inspired once again. I know we’ve turned that last page in our first chapter of this journey, and I’m excited for chapter two. :) This world is a magical, magical place and I want to seize all of it!….
….And write it into a million little words!